Posts Tagged ‘ Weird Contraptions ’

Sometimes I Google myself. Who doesn’t? Well, today’s results led me to what appears to be the official website of Elmwood, Nebraska. It was quite charming, actually. Bake sales, crafts, school musicals, pics of people’s Christmas lights, local goings on… You know the kind. Very charming, indeed, until I found Joe and his “amazing fart machine marble maze mouse catcher.” 

Hmmmmm. Aside from the obvious “WHY?”… I wondered how one might use an amazing fart machine marble maze mouse catcher. I suspect the whole thing would go down like this:

1. See mouse in house.
2. Run to garden and free trellis with least number of healthy vegetables.
3. Wrap tubing around garden trellis.
4. Drag giant contraption around house until mouse is re-located.
5. Drop your drawers.
6. Stick one end of tubing up your ass and fart.
7. Stick marble in opposite end of tubing and wait for fart to shoot marble out and hit mouse knocking it unconscious or injuring it enough to decrease mobility to catchable speed.
8. Attempt to trap mouse.
9. Repeat steps 4-8 until successful.
10. Pat yourself on the back after “amazing” feat.

Anyone have a better idea?